Farewell to Myself
by postalnori
Summary: Cerise is the lock that stands in Organization XIII's way. The Keyblade alone cannot unlock it. As the Organization searches for a means of completing Kingdom Hearts, Cerise must come to terms with her fate as she learns what love and friendship are...
1. Prologue

**Title: **Farewell to Myself  
**Genre: **Romance/ Friendship  
**Rating: **T for mild adult themes and violence

**Full Summary:** The Keyblade is the key to unlocking Kingdom Hearts. The lock that stands in Organization XIII's way is Cerise, a girl born from Kingdom Hearts. However, that girl became a Nobody and the lock is now stuck. Even the Keyblade alone will not be enough to free the lock. As the Organization searches for a means of completing Kingdom Hearts, Cerise must come to terms with her fate as she learns what love and friendship are during her limited days with Organization XIII.

**Author's Note: **Story is best viewed in the 3/4 layout.

* * *

**Prologue**

The sound of ocean waves crashing against the shore filled her ears, stirring her in her sleep. A distant voice could be heard nearby, but she disregarded it and listened solely to the waves. She felt herself immersed in the sand as the refreshing ocean water splashed against her feet before engulfing her whole. Solid land dissolved in an instant and she was falling freely into the water. Eyes still closed, she stretched her arms out in front of her. Someone held onto her right hand. As her eyes began to flutter open, she saw a blurred image of a person. All she could make out were a pair of blue eyes before she awoke from her reverie and found herself lying in bed. The voice she ignored earlier belonged to a Dusk that had poured a bucket of water on her to wake her up. It whispered into her ear, telling her to go to the Grey Area.

After changing into her daily attire, which consisted of two black cloths tied together at the shoulders and side in order to form a loose short dress, she headed for her destination. Upon arriving, she noticed a new face. The new member donned the Organization's trademark coat, but what made him stick out with his pale pink hair. Xigbar had spoke of another Nobody he had found the other day and this must have been him.

"You're finally up, Cerise," Xigbar spoke from his position on the couch.

A few other members looked up.

It was uncommon for Cerise to show up, at least in the Grey Area, where members came to receive their missions. After all, Cerise did not go on missions. Her combat abilities were deemed petty to be useful, but she was skilled in healing that went beyond Curaga. However, the only member that ever asked for her healing remedies was Demyx. Even then, he was hardly ever sent on missions that required him to use brutal tactics.

"Hey! It's been a while," Demyx piped up. He strummed his sitar to emphasize how "happy" he was to see her.

Cerise nodded at him, acknowledging his greeting while completely ignoring Xigbar. She went to speak with Saix at the front of the room.

"May I ask why I was called here," she asked.

Saix did not give her a response and went to speak with Xaldin about his mission. It was only until Number III departed for his duties did Saix pay her any attention. She did not mind his behavior. It's not like she had anything else to do that was better than waiting. Ever since the first day she came to The World That Never Was, there was never a day where she was not sitting down somewhere, whether in a chair or a windowsill, staring at nothing. Xemnas did not permit her to leave the castle so there was little she could do to entertain herself. Occasionally, she would talk to the other members about trivial matters while other members, such as Xigbar, would babble on and on to her. She didn't complain though. It was better than staring at the wall for hours.

"You were called here today in order to meet Number XI," Saix said. "Go and introduce yourself."

Cerise scanned the room once more. Number XI was speaking to Luxord. She wondered what use there was in meeting members sometimes when she wasn't allowed to socialize with them. She was allowed to have small talk with them, but she was not allowed to go around the castle with them, let alone play games. It was always such a shame to turn down card games with Luxord. Walking up to the pink-haired man, Luxord and him ceased in their conversation.

"How about a round of poker?" Luxord asked.

"As always, I must turn down the offer." Cerise turned away from Luxord and to Number XI. "Consider me the apothecary of the organization."

"Such a lady," Luxord chuckled. "You forgot a few things in that introduction, love."

Number XI didn't say anything in return. He didn't seem to care.

As far as introductions went, that was enough for Cerise and she went to talk to Demyx on the opposite side of the room. To her luck, Xigbar had left so she did not have to worry about him bothering her. One by one, everyone in the room began to disappear except for Demyx and Saix. Face held in her hands, she watched Demyx play his sitar. Now that everyone was gone, it gave him more freedom to play louder. Xigbar would usually tell him to stop creating a racket.

"Can you play an instrument?" he asked.

She blinked. "You ask me that all the time."

"Well, we don't meet that often so by the time I see you again, I forget."

"No, I don't play any instruments," she replied, causing him to be disappointed for the sixth time. He would also get over it for the sixth time. "I do enjoy listening to you play, Demyx." That was the honest truth no matter what others said. Then again, she hardly listened to music so her judgment of what was good was bit obscured. Smiling at his satisfied expression of being complimented, she listened to him compose a new song. Her smile fell when Saix came over and whacked Demyx with his clipboard. He proceeded to explain to Demyx his mission. He even wrote a note card that reminded Demyx of what he had to do. Reluctantly, Demyx went on his way, leaving her alone with Saix.

They stayed in silence for a while.

She was used to the awkward silences between them. From their first meeting, she knew he was a man of few words, though she could tell what he was thinking.

"Vexen is waiting. Come." Saix waited for her to stand. He scowled when she didn't. "What's wrong?"

She shifted uncomfortably. Going to see Vexen meant one thing: experiments.

Saix yanked her up by her arm, but she held her ground.

"I don't want to go."

"Whether you want to or not does not matter. Would you like to answer to Xemnas instead?"

"But you should understand more than anyone else!" Cerise exclaimed.

Saix narrowed his eyes; his cold mien left no room for further defiance. Cerise gave up trying to get through to him. He was as obstinate as ever. No, that wasn't the correct term. He just didn't care about she had to say. As they made their way out of the room, they heard a dark corridor open. They looked back to see who had returned. Much to Saix's bemusement, a certain fiery red-head came out of the portal.

"Oh? What's going on here?" Axel smirked, feigning ignorance.

Saix was not in a good mood. One who uses a dark corridor can eavesdrop on others before actually coming out. Therefore, how much had Axel heard? Axel studied the scene before him. Saix was holding onto Cerise's arm and the two were about to go somewhere. Hissing out in pain, Axel clutched his ribcage. He staggered over to the couch to support himself. Cerise went over to check on his injury before Saix could object.

"Can she go with you later? I got messed up pretty badly," Axel groaned between cringes.

"Very well then. Cerise, as soon as you are done, meet me at the lab," Saix stated.

Once he was gone, Axel relaxed and grinned at Cerise.

"Aren't you going to thank me?"

As much as she would have liked to express her gratitude, he had not done much to help her. He had just postponed the inevitable and it wasn't as if Saix had bought that cheap act for one second. It was rare for Axel to help her out though. When they first met, they were very apathetic towards each other. Not that they necessarily cared about each other now, but the development in their relationship had certainly changed. Then again, they didn't have hearts. Cerise heaved a heavy sigh and got up, giving Axel more room on the couch. He gratefully stretched his legs out on the free space, preparing for a nap.

"Off to the lab already?"

"Saix said to come once I was done," Cerise reminded.

"Have fun."

"..."

_Maybe I shouldn't have said that. _Axel watched her make her way towards the hall. His eyes lowered to his chest. Anyone in the Organization knew what experiments Cerise was used for. As a being born from Kingdom Hearts, Cerise was a valuable asset to the Organization. It was unfortunate that she had also lost her heart and became a Nobody. He remembered Saix raving about how she would have been more useful if she still had a heart. It was strange how someone born from Kingdom Hearts could lose their own heart though. Opening his mouth to offer some words of comfort, he stopped. He didn't know how to deal with women.

Pushing open the steel door to the laboratory, Cerise saw Saix inside, along with Vexen and Zexion. Who she hadn't expected to see was Xigbar. This experiment could have been more bearable had Xigbar not been present. Going further into the room, she stopped next to the operating table. Large glass viles containing hearts were everywhere along with empty syringes. She recalled the first experiment she had gone through. They had taken samples of her blood in order to check if her DNA contained anything unique. To their disappointment, a creature born from Kingdom Hearts did not have blood that differed from humans.

"You know the standard procedures," Vexen said. "Remove your clothes."

What a crude order. She had done it multiple times in front of them already, but she could never grow accustom to it. She always felt the same humiliation and anxiety. Most experiments called for her to be without clothing and thus, explaining the dress she wore, which could easily be taken off. Reaching for one of the knots that secured her dress, she slowly loosened it. Xigbar watched with narrowed eyes as he leaned against the wall while Saix stood behind her. Zexion was cleaning out beakers, much to her relief. Suddenly, Saix stepped up and tugged her dress off, letting the sheets of fabric fall to her feet. That was his way of relieving some frustration and showing her that even though Axel tried to help her, there was no way he would ever let her or Axel get their way. In the end, Axel hadn't helped her. He just added more fuel to the flame. Vexen cupped her face, forcing her mouth open as he poured a strange liquid down her throat.

Everything was a haze afterward.

She was sent back to the sound of waves and the damp sensation of sand under her fingernails. She heard the rustling of the palm trees around her, a light breeze casting over her. A sharp tinge of pain at her chest made her body tighten. She tried to bring her hands to her chest, but metal bands constrained her, reminding her that she was not on an island, but on a cold surgical table. Another jab of pain caused her to jolt, her wrists fighting against their restraints. The pain faded away and she was back to the island, lying on the trunk of a fallen tree. Her left foot dangled off, hitting a pool of water under her. Suddenly, a hand emerged from the water and latched onto her ankle, pulling her down. Traveling through whirlwind of water, her lungs began to fill with water. Clutching her throat, she kicked around to somehow relieve the agony. Just before she could lose consciousness, she was shot out of the fast current and into calm waters. Floating not too far from her was a young blond boy. She drifted closer to him. Her eyes struggled to stay open. With the last ounce of her strength, she extended her arm and grasped the boy's hand.

A sphere of light formed when their hands connected.

The light engulfed them and within the brightness, the boy faced her.

Blue eyes.

_Ventus? _

_No._

_Roxas. _

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note: **I hope this was a good introduction to the story. Thank you for reading. _  
_


	2. A Day's Leisure

**Chapter One: A Day's Leisure**

Confined in a room stored away in the castle and far from the Organization members was Namine. Kicking her feet as she scribbled colorful streaks onto a sheet of paper, she would occasionally glance over at a turquoise-headed girl seated on the windowsill. For the past five days, the girl had been visiting her. By visiting, she meant that the girl would walk in and sit for hours. She wouldn't say a word or look at her. Namine didn't even know what her name was.

Cerise sat on the windowsill with one leg stretched out while the other was bent in order to allow her arm to rest on her knee. She stared at the darkness that was the sky, as torrents of rain fell from the abyss. Leaning her head against the glass, she watched the raindrops pelt against the window. The Organization had gained another member, Larxene, The Savage Nymph. Since then, life had been different for Cerise. To many people's surprise, she befriended Larxene. They would hang out in the Grey Area or in each other's quarters. At first, Saix questioned whether or not to allow her to interact with Larxene, who was known for her sadistic nature. Not that the other members weren't perverted, but Larxene was the only who expressed it so openly and distastefully. Cerise didn't mind that about her, rather, she found it interesting.

The door to the room burst open and standing at the threshold was Larxene. Namine's shoulders tensed and for a brief moment, she stopped coloring. Taking a step forward, Larxene felt her boots crush something on the floor. It was a blue crayon. Glowering, she ignored it and went over to the empty shell at the window.

"What are you doing with the witch?" she spat.

"Nothing better to do," Cerise uttered dryly.

"And you couldn't sneak out and have fun? Grow a brain, Cerise."

Larxene rolled her eyes and dragged Cerise to the door.

When the door slammed shut, Namine continued drawing.

Now she knew her name.

Walking together, Larxene talked about her mission that dealt with investigating a world. She complained about how it was boring and that she wanted something that called for more physical combat. What Cerise got out of it was that Larxene was the complete opposite of Demyx. Cerise never got into a fight before so she didn't understand what was so exhilarating about violence nor did she know why it was also something to be feared. It was one of the reasons why Cerise hung around Number XII to begin with: to do her own investigation.

"I'll talk to Saix for you," Cerise suggested.

"Like he's going to listen."

"It was only a suggestion."

They stopped in their conversation when they saw Marluxia. Number XI signaled Larxene to come with him and she did. They spoke in whispers and Larxene looked back at Cerise.

Then they left.

To call Larxene a "friend" may not be the correct terminology. Cerise wouldn't be all too hurt or surprised if Larxene were to betray her one day. It was hard to trust anyone in the Organization no matter how friendly they made themselves to be. A hand was placed on her shoulder, startling her.

"They're a suspicious duo," Xigbar snickered.

"You were eavesdropping again, weren't you?"

Xigbar's bad habit of listening to other people's conversations was one of the many qualities Cerise disliked about him and he was aware of that. It gave him more of an incentive to keep doing it.

"Good call." He patted her on the back.

She flinched at the contact. He had applied pressure to the fresh scratch marks that were scattered all over her back. Xigbar gave out a loud laugh that rung through the hall. Cerise started to leave, but he pulled her against him, her back smacking against his chest. His hand slipped through a side opening of her dress to caress her back. When his fingers went over an indentation of tendered skin, she bit her lip at the stinging sensation.

"Oh? And where did these come from," he chuckled as he applied more pressure.

It was his cue to release her when Saix came treading over, asking what they were doing.

Xigbar crossed his arms with a smirk.

"Just teasing fairy girl over here."

"Cease wasting your time. You have a mission to tend to. And Cerise, refrain from distracting members from their tasks. A probable solution to that would be staying in your room," Saix said without a glance her way.

"Don't be too hard on her. Well, I'm off." Xigbar summoned a dark corridor and in a nonchalant manner, he strolled in.

Another thing Cerise didn't like about Xigbar: it was because of him she would get lectured. Ignoring Saix's scowl, she decided to go to her room to heal the marks on her back. Along the way, she contemplated over the experiment that occurred a week ago. She wasn't sure if the experiment had caused her to dream of a beach and a boy, who bore much resemblance of a Keyblade wielder she once knew. She asked Saix what the purpose of the experiment was, but he did not answer her and neither did Vexen. They were certainly up to something, not that she had any control over it. She stopped in her footsteps when she saw Demyx talking to Axel. He was attempting to persuade Axel to take one his missions.

"It's best to do your own work. I wouldn't trust Axel anyway," Cerise said, butting in.

So much for Xigbar's habit of eavesdropping.

The two looked over at her.

"What makes you say that?" Demyx asked.

"No particular reason."

"If you say so, Cerise." It wasn't everyday Demyx got advice from her so he may as well heed it. "I'm going to join up with Luxord for poker. Wanna tag along?"

"No thanks," Cerise stated frankly.

"You sure? Xiggy told me you were good at it."

"Did he now?" Cerise made a mental note to have a nice chat with Xigbar later. Out of all the people in the castle he could pick on, he just had to choose her as his main target. _Can't he go harass someone else? I don't understand him, which makes him even more disagreeable. _

Once Demyx was gone, Axel moved closer to her.

"Did Saix tell you anything?" he queried.

"What makes you think that?"

"What makes you think I can't be trusted?"

Cerise shrugged. What was the use in explaining it to him? That's what was so wrong about Organization XIII. They acted like they cared. She was guilty of doing the same thing. She sometimes forgot that she lacked a heart. The experiments, the dreams, and the emotions weren't supposed to mean anything to her and yet they did. Xemnas had told her that Nobodies may behave as though they could feel due to the memories they had as humans, but she wasn't human to begin with; she was created from Kingdom Hearts.

Axel stared at her, eyebrows raised at her solemn expression.

"What's your relationship with Saix?" he suddenly asked.

"I don't really know myself. What about you? He talks about you sometimes."

"Oh? How so?"

"He comments on how you're always doing what you want and that you're too laid back."

"Sounds like something he'd say," Axel muttered, scratching his head.

"Are you two friends?"

"I guess so."

Cerise wasn't too fond of his tepid response. Saix had actually told her that Axel and him knew each other before they lost their hearts. Yet, it didn't seem like they were friends. Then again, what did she know about friendship? She never had friends from the time she had a heart. She could almost consider Larxene and Demyx her friends. A frown formed on her lips. She came to the Organization the same time the founders did and up till now, she only had two people she could almost call a friend. She remembered when Xemnas found her at the clock tower at Twilight Town. He told her that he would take her to the place where she belonged. Cerise wasn't being held against her will here in the castle, but she wasn't happy to be with them either. Where else did a Nobody have to go? Who could she rely on? The only one she could think of was Xemnas. Somehow, it felt dissatisfying.

"Axel, what keeps you here?" she found herself asking.

Bewildered at her sudden question, he took a second to think. _Is she testing my loyalty for the Organization? That would explain why she said I can't be trusted. _Axel saw Cerise to be a lap dog for Xemnas despite her innocent countenance. Xemnas did keep her close to him. She didn't trust Axel and it was likewise for him. Unfortunately, he misunderstood her.

"Ah, there you are," an elderly voice croaked.

The voice belonged to Vexen.

"What do you want?" Axel dead out asked him.

"Is that how you treat your seniors?" Vexen barked, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Axel dug the wax out of his ears as he looked the other way. Cerise suppressed a tiny smile. With Vexen's creepy experiments, he didn't deserve respect. She wasn't allowed to disrespect any of the members so when Axel did, it felt as though she was getting revenge. Indirectly, though.

"Cerise, Xemnas demands for your presence," Vexen stated.

Nodding, she excused herself.

Axel finally turned to Vexen. _Another experiment? _

At Addled Impasse, Xemnas was gazing at the vast empty sky, his arms held above him. Soon, Kingdom Hearts would be there, in perfect view of where he was standing. At the sound of footsteps, he looked back to see Cerise.

"The Keyblade Warrior has lost his heart," he said, his voice dripping with anticipation.

Cerise knew the meaning behind his tone. The Keyblade Warrior, Sora, had lost his heart. This would give birth to a Heartless and a Nobody. Xemnas ushered for her to come closer. She did. He crept a hand behind her head. He snapped the band that held up her hair, allowing his fingers to snake through the strands while his other hand tilted her chin so that her eyes met his.

"Soon, you shall be reunited with Kingdom Hearts."

He caressed her face.

"My Kingdom Hearts."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Introducing Roxas in the next chapter (though he won't be too involved until later). **  
**


	3. Nostalgic Blue

**Chapter Two: Nostalgic Blue**

_Kingdom Hearts. By using the Keyblade, captive hearts will be released to form Kingdom Hearts, my birth place. One day, I will return to that place. That is my fate, a fate that I have long accepted. _Cerise was with Namine again. They were sitting together at the table. Namine was coloring an ocean, using various shades of blue. Apathy ridden all over Cerise's face, she watched the pale girl draw three figures: a girl and two boys holding hands. Larxene had informed Cerise all there had to know about Namine and her ability to control people's hearts through their chains of memories. Unlike Maize, Namine was being held against her will. At least Cerise was allowed to wander around the castle instead of being locked away in a room.

"Tell me. Are you happy here?" Cerise whispered.

Namine's hand stopped moving back and forth on the paper. She shook her head.

"Are you afraid of this place and the people that inhabit it?"

She gave a tentative nod. Lifting her head up, she asked her own question.

"Are you happy here?"

Cerise brought her fingertips to her lips. This was the first time someone had asked about how she felt. She was caught off guard and did not know how to respond. Surveying the items on the table, she spotted the broken blue crayon from yesterday.

Broken.

Reaching for the crayon, the moment her finger touched it, that reoccurring dream of the ocean swept through her mind. Each time that boy's face flashed across her eyes, an electrifying sensation would jolt at the back of her head. Shooting up from her seat, she knocked the chair over as she clutched her head. A faint voice was calling out to her. Tipping back, she felt herself fall into a body of water.

The pain was gone.

_Is this another dream? _Floating in place, she breathed in and out steadily.

"Cerise."

Gasping, she turned around to find herself in an empty white room. Mist shrouded her surroundings so she could not identify an entrance or an exit. Carefully walking around, she tried to find a wall, but the room seemed endless. Through the mist, she saw the silhouette of a boy with spiky hair and baggy clothes. Taking a step forward, the floor beneath her shattered and everything went pitch black.

"Cerise."

Axel had her in his arms as he gently shook her awake. He had came in to bring food for Namine and found Cerise lying on the floor. He asked Namine what had happened, but she didn't know. Whatever happened, he didn't see it to be anything life threatening. But, it wouldn't be appropriate to leave Cerise lying on the cold floor. Lifting her up from the marble floor, he told Namine to hold the door for him. Heading for her room, he traveled up a flight of stairs, where he had the pleasure of bumping into Zexion.

"And what happened that resulted in this?" Zexion was referring the unconscious girl in Axel's arms.

"How should I know? I just found her like this with Namine."

"Namine? Interesting. Perhaps this is a side effect from the birth of the Keyblade Warrior's Nobody. Which reminds me, weren't you assigned the duty of finding the boy?"

"Yeah, but I'm busy taking of this right now," Axel grumbled, continuing on his way. _Side effect? How are Cerise and Sora connected? _Entering Cerise's room, he set her down on her bed. It was odd that there was no bedding on the mattress. He knew she sometimes bunked with Larxene. He questioned why she would want to bunk with someone as moody as Larxene and why Larxene would hang out with someone...like Cerise. _I don't know how to describe her. Quiet? Friendly? _Rumors had it that under her poor excuse of a dress, she did not wear any under garments. Looking her body up and down, he coughed. "Well, sweet dreams." Saluting her, he summoned a dark corridor and left.

* * *

Zexion was with the other founding members of the Organization. The only new member present was Saix, who others wondered how he managed to slither his way into their fold. They were all gathered in The Round Room. Vexen was sharing his detailed analysis of the experiments he had conducted on Cerise. Xemnas sat tall and upright, with both hands gripping onto the armrests of his throne as he listened.

"Cerise's current state is unstable. With the recent birth of Sora's Nobody, she should be experiencing ephemeral fatigue," Vexen informed. "Once Axel finds the Nobody, what shall we do?"

"Have them meet, of course," Xigbar chuckled. "As one who is chosen by the Keyblade, that Nobody shares close ties with Cerise."

The room fell silent. What he had wasn't, per se, wrong. Although they weren't sure exactly what Cerise was, she was created from Kingdom Hearts and since the Keyblade is what unlocks Kingdom Hearts, it would only be natural to have Cerise and the Nobody to meet. Saix shook his head in disagreement.

"If the Keyblade is what unlocks Kingdom Hearts then Roxas and Cerise should not make contact, at least not at any time soon," he muttered, crossing his legs and folding his hands.

Xigbar slumped in his seat.

"What may happen if the two meet is circumstantial and we will only know if it does occur," Zexion said.

Xemnas held his hand up, signaling for them to be quiet. "We will have the two meet and see what follows from the encounter. Everyone, excluding Number II, VII, and IV, are dismissed." The members, who were not mentioned, exchanged skeptic expression before doing as told. Once they vanished in separate clouds of black and purple smoke, Xemnas spoke again. "Inform me on that pet project. That puppet you obtained at Castle Oblivion."

* * *

Cerise germinated into a sitting position, panting. Frantically looking around, she checked to see where she was. She was in her room, on her bed. Gripping her dress, she crumbled the fabric in her fists. _What's happening to me? _

"About time you woke up," Larxene yawned from her seat on the floor. She was using Cerise's wardrobe as a back support while she read a book. "You should decorate your room or at least use your furniture. There's nothing in here."

"I can't wear what I want or go shopping for that matter."

"It's called sneaking out."

"It's called consequences."

Cerise sat down at her vanity. Larxene pranced over to help her fix her hair. Taking a beaded hair band, Larxene styled Cerise's hair into her usual loose updo, allowing some strands to fall loose on her shoulders. Taking a comb to brush her fringes, Cerise watched as Larxene fixed her own hair.

"What clothes did you wear before?" Cerise asked.

"Oh? Thinking of going shopping?"

Cerise laughed softly to herself. "I never said that. I was just curious is all. What kind of clothes would suit me?"

"With your personality, I'd say dresses." Larxene said it was so much contempt, it nearly offended her.

"No need to sound nasty, Larxene. I can't help it if that's who I am."

"Yeah, whatever. There's going to be a meeting so let's get going," Larxene said. "Heard Axel found the Keyblade brat's Nobody. Exciting, isn't it?"

It's wasn't usual for Cerise to be called to meetings. She had a feeling Xemnas wanted her to meet with the Nobody for obvious reasons. They had discussed the matter yesterday, where she assured him that it was safe for her to meet the boy. However, she could not make physical contact. That was all she told him.

At The Round Room, all members sat leisurely in their respective thrones, leveled at varying heights. Two of the thrones were vacant: one which belonged to Axel while the other was a new addition that would soon have an owner. Cerise was seated on Xemnas' armrest. Since she was not an official member, she did not have her own seat. A young boy with blond hair, followed by Axel, walked onto the bottom platform.

"Let us all welcome the Keyblade's chosen one," Xemnas announced, his voice ringing throughout the room.

The boy peered up.

Blue eyes.

Cerise learned forward in interest, a soft gasp escaping her lips. _The boy from the dream. _Her fingers craved to touch the boy, but she knew she could not. Xemnas glanced over at her, a smirk creeping onto his lips. Saix watched her as well, expressionless as he examined her reaction.

"Number XIII, Roxas."

Roxas blinked, his eyes void of any signs of life. When he stumbled back, Axel had to grip his shoulder to support his balance. Cerise was feeling rather dizzy herself. She placed a trembling hand to massage her temple. _It seems like our fates are now the same, Roxas. _Cerise stared directly at him, forlornly.

After the meeting, Axel had the honor of showing Roxas to his room. The boy was in a daze and it would take a while for him to start reacting to things. Everyone was engaged in a heated discussion at the Grey Area. Larxene expressed how disappointed she was in the newcomer. She doubted his ability to be of any use. Cerise slightly wondered why Larxene hung out with her when she herself wasn't capable of doing much.

_I'm only here to complete Kingdom Hearts, after all. In the end, I will disappear. There's no point in making friends. So then, why do I bother coming here? _Cerise faced the glass wall, staring at her reflection. _Is it because I'm lonely? But Nobodies can't feel. _During the first week she joined, she had asked Xemnas if she could make friends with the other members. He hadn't forbidden her, but he had not praise the idea either. He warned her not to get too carried away with others and that she should only focus on Kingdom Hearts and assisting Organization XIII. Would things be different now that Roxas has joined?

"Cerise. Is today the day where you will join me in a game of poker?" Luxord queried.

"As if. What would she gamble with?" Xigbar scoffed.

There was always strip poker, but even then, Cerise did not have much to gamble with or on. She did not have many possessions. All she had was her nonexistent life. It was a saddening thought, but the truth.

The game commenced without her.

_Maybe I should sneak out. _Cerise knew there were consequences, but how severe they would be remained a mystery. She highly doubted she would be killed since the Organization needed her for Kingdom Hearts. They couldn't physically damage her immobile either. Through the reflection from the glass, she saw Axel approaching her.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"Good. Why do you ask?"

"Found you knocked out. You sure you're not feeling a bit...rusty?"

She huffed at his choice of words. He referred to her as though she was an object. Though not human, she knew she wasn't a thing, regardless of how others treated her. How did people see her anyway? A scientific specimen? A girl? Or maybe a friend?

"Axel, are we friends?"

"Huh?" He jerked his head as though to get something out of his ear. That question came out of the blue. When she didn't say anything else, he pursed his lips. "Not really."

"I see," Cerise murmured to herself. _I suppose not. Friends don't usually refer to each other as things. _

"Do you have any friends?"

Axel didn't ask this to be rude. He merely asked in order to get her perspective of what she saw her relationships to be with other members. She had such odd relationships with Xigbar and Saix, and he was certain neither of two considered Cerise to be their friend.

"Larxene?" Cerise said, unsure.

He raised a brow. _Larxene? She's the last person I'd trust. Then again, trust and friendship are separate things. But, isn't a friend someone you trust? _The idea of friendship was more complex than he thought it to be. He remembered his friendship with Saix. He trusted Saix then, but now...Saix was a little different. He seemed more distant and cold. Just today, he had sea-salt icecream with Roxas on the clock tower. Roxas didn't say much, but their time together was pleasant. Axel couldn't remember a time in the Organization where he had fun just by being around someone. With Saix, it only brought dissatisfaction. With Vexen, it was annoyance. With Xaldin and Lexeaus, it was apathy. What was it like with Cerise? 

"How does one know if they're a friend?" she interrupted his thoughts.

"Ask. Isn't that what you did earlier?"

Cerise appeared flabbergast at first, but then laughed. Her laughter was always soft and brief. Axel never heard her crack up or any of the sorts. Either no one told her any funny jokes or she had no sense of humor. In a way, she resembled Saix in that aspect. They both hardly laughed, but when they did, it would usually lighten the mood. Hands behind her, she looked up at him. "I guess you're right."

Axel smiled.

He didn't know why he did.

Maybe it was because she was smiling.


	4. First Time

**Author's Note: **Just a reminder, story is better in the 3/4 layout. I would also like to thank opticon217 for her review. I appreciate the feedback.

* * *

**Chapter Three: First Time **

Namine was sketching a picture, the slender pencil held between her fingers moving gracefully along her notebook. Torn out pages were scattered around her chair, all of them a drawing of a turquoise haired girl by herself. What made the picture she was currently drawing unique was that the girl was no longer alone. Namine quickly shut her notebook when she heard footsteps outside. She could make out two voices. One was a high-pitched feminine voice. Namine had no trouble identifying it to be Larxene's. The other voice was monotone. They seemed to be in a disagreement.

"Why not use Cerise? If we want to take Kingdom Hearts, we need her!" Larxene hastily snapped.

"Once we take over the Organization, we shall claim her. For now, do not mention to her our plan," Marluxia said.

Larxene clicked her tongue. "We can have her join us and she can give us valuable information. Xemnas tells her all kinds of secrets."

"We cannot be certain where her loyalties lie. However, it wouldn't hurt to get closer to her."

Namine's grip on her notebook tightened. Opening it, she ripped out the picture she had just been perfecting and crumbled it. And here she thought that Larxene actually considered Cerise to be a friend. Should she tell Cerise about Larxene's true motive? It really wasn't her place to say anything though and would Cerise even believe her? After all, who would trust a witch?

At Twilight's View, Saix and Axel were having a midnight meeting of their own. For once, Axel had arranged it. He was surprised that Saix had even showed up. At least he didn't have to wait all night like last time. Saix had an inkling of why Axel called him out. The matter he wished to discuss was Cerise.

"How much did you tell Cerise?" Axel inquired. "About your plan, I mean."

"Enough for her not to spoil anything," Saix said.

"Is she your little spy? Was I not good enough?" Axel teased his old pal.

Saix smirked. "You can answer that for yourself."

"Well then, I guess Cerise is on our side."

"Don't get involved with her. I can't have you ruining things with your recklessness," Saix warned. "It wouldn't be wise to get too attached to such an ephemeral being."

Axel fell silent. Saix's means of taking over the Organization himself meant also controlling Cerise. She didn't seem to mind the fact that he was using her for his separate goals. Therefore, he assumed Cerise didn't care about the Organization since her fate won't change regardless of who was using her. But, he found it odd that Cerise would willingly follow Saix. Besides, why wasn't he allowed to associate with Cerise? It's not like he was going to mess up the plan by talking to her.

"Say, what's going to happen to her?" Axel asked.

"Cerise will reunite with Kingdom Hearts; that is her sole purpose and let us make sure she fulfills it."

_Even in the end, Cerise will be under someone's control, Nobody or a not. _Axel pitied her a little. Their meeting ended and he headed back to his room. Passing Cerise's room, he stopped to stare at her door. _What's going to happen between Roxas and her? What does he mean "reunite with Kingdom Hearts"?_ Raising a fist to knock, he quickly stopped his hand from hitting the door. "What the hell am I doing?" Shaking his head, he continued on.

If Axel had entered her room that night, he would have realized she was gone. She had taken Larxene's advice and snuck out of the castle. Wandering through the Dark City, she made countless turns and ended up returning to the same streets. Despite the fact that she was lost, it was the first time in a long time that she got to explore a different setting. Walking forward, a dark substance began to emerge from the ground, taking the form of a Heartless. Staggering back, she stopped when she saw more behind her.

They pounced in the air.

Before they could attack her, lightning struck all of them and they all faded back into the darkness.

"Can't you do anything?" Larxene nagged, her kunai knives held between her fingers. The sharps tips of the knives extracted yellow zigzags.

"Why are you here?"

"I got your letter. You could have woken me up."

Cerise did not want to bother Larxene, knowing exactly what would happen if she were to piss her off. Larxene was already moody enough and a sleepy Larxene was ten times worse. Shifting her feet, Cerise cringed. Her feet were scratched up from the pavement. Larxene took notice of her feet as well. That's what happens when one goes walking without adequate footwear.

"Larxene, do you know where I can get shoes?" Cerise asked.

"Shoes? Twilight Town has a sale going on."

"Guess I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Well, if you're going to travel between worlds, you're going to need a black coat. I'll lend you one."

"Why don't you come with me?"

Number XII appeared to be a bit surprised at the invitation. "I'd rather be killing Heartless. Night." Bidding her goodbye, she entered a portal.

Cerise rushed in after her and found herself in a strange empty alley.

"You're not wearing a coat!" Larxene snapped. "Now get out–" She stopped when she saw Cerise's eyes flicker a golden color and her body began to fuzz like a broken television screen. Grabbing her wrist, Larxene's hand went right through Cerise. She cursed to herself. If Cerise were to disappear, Kingdom Hearts would never be complete and that spoiled everyone's plans. Larxene ran into the portal while ushering Cerise to follow. Arriving in her room, Larxene fell on all fours when Cerise came crashing into her. "You're so stupid. You need a coat to travel between worlds. Didn't I already tell you that?"

"Yeah, but then I'd have to walk back."

Larxene rolled her eyes and pushed Cerise off of her.

Before leaving for her mission the next day, Larxene left an Organization coat and some munny for Cerise. She'd have to pay her back though, with interest. When Cerise was sure everyone had left for their missions, she went to Twilight Town. As long as the founding members were gone, there would be no experiments. Therefore, no one would be looking for her.

Twilight Town was a vibrant and peaceful world. The streets were so smooth and clean, she didn't really mind walking around with bare feet. A few people gave her weird and questioning looks, but she didn't mind that either. She went to the store that Larxene had mentioned, but couldn't find anything she liked. The shoes were all meant for armor or for running, which she learned were called, "sneakers". It was still early so she decided to explore the town. At the sandlot, a bunch of kids were bickering. They joked around and laughed at each other. It was more light-hearted than the kind of bickering she had with Xigbar. Studying the kids a bit more, they suddenly started running in her direction. She quickly hid behind a wall as they passed by.

"Let's get sea-salt icecream!" Olette exclaimed.

"Last one there has to pay," Hayner laughed as Pence looked mortified.

Once they were out of sight, Cerise got out of her hiding spot with an envious smile on her face. A low ringing echoed throughout the town. She looked for the source of the sound and saw a tall clock tower. It was the first time she had seen such a big clock. Amazed, she went to check it out. At Station Plaza, she peered up at the clock tower, wondering how to get up there. Suddenly, someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Surprise, surprise!"

Startled, she spun around to see Axel with a bright, blue bar in his mouth.

"Axel? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She shuffled her feet.

"Hey, I'm not going to rat you out or anything," Axel assured as he continued to gnaw at the blue substance. He noticed she was staring at it intently and it stuck it out for her to take a bite. "It's sea-salt icecream." She inched forward to examine it and looked up at him, unsure. He chuckled. "It's good. Give it a try."

Cerise took a huge bite, consuming the top half of the icecream bar. She covered her mouth at the sudden cold sensation and the salty yet sweet taste.

"You didn't have to go that far," Axel said as he stared at the popsicle stick jutting out from the rest of his icecream.

"It is good."

Axel grinned. "See? What did I tell you?" He consumed the rest of his icecream. Saving the trouble of having to find a trash bin, he flickered the popsicle stick in his hand and it burst into flames. What remained were specks of ash. Blowing into his palm, the ashes scattered into the air. Before they could be swept away by the wind, Cerise delicately caught the specks. Axel cocked his head, wondering what she was going to do. Like him, she blew into her palm, but the ashes suddenly transformed into blue butterflies.

"How'd you do that?" he exclaimed.

"Magic. But, it doesn't work as well as it used to."

The butterflies began to turn black, their wings deteriorating. Eventually, they fell to the ground as piles of dust. Axel figured she was referring to the time she had a heart. As a being born from the sea of all hearts, Cerise must have been a Godly being. But without a heart, she was nothing. How had she lost her heart? Cerise's eyes widened suddenly and he looked to see what had caught her attention.

It was the sunset.

"Beautiful," she whispered. "It's my first time seeing it."

"You can get a better view at the top of the clock tower."

"Really? Do you go there often?"

"Yeah. Mostly after missions."

"It must be nice." She sounded like a child.

Axel wasn't sure what to say. Now that she got a taste of the outside world, maybe she would start to stray away from the Organization's goal. The loyal thing to do would be to report this to Saix, but he'd already told her he wouldn't. More than that, he didn't want to spoil all the fun she had today.

"You should head back," he finally said.

Cerise sighed, disappointed. "It can't be helped, I guess."

Axel watched as she disappeared through the Dark Corridor. Once she was gone, he rubbed the back of his neck and went to the top of the clock tower. At the castle, it didn't seem as though anyone noticed her absence. Cerise went to talk to Larxene about her day, telling her everything that happened except for the run in with Number VIII. Larxene didn't seem to care because she already knew what sneakers were and the view of a sunset. Munching on a bag of chips, Larxene listened with one ear while the other was zoned out.

"Are you listening?" Cerise nagged.

"Not really."

Cerise pouted. "I'll go tell Namine then. Maybe she'll listen."

Larxene laughed out loud. "Go ahead! You'll just be torturing the witch."

That was the Savage Nymph for you. Heading to Namine's room (prison), which was located in an enclosed area of the castle, Cerise went by Number XIII's room. The newcomer had yet to come out since his arrival. He was most likely in a cloudy state still. Touching the door, the sound of waves filled her ears once more. She staggered back. _Can I not even get close to him without experiencing this? _She rubbed her temples to soothe the headache building up.

"What's going on here?" Vexen muttered from down the hall. Zexion and Lexaeus followed in pursuit.

This certainly wasn't going to ease her headache.

"Nothing," she said.

Vexen looked at her and then towards Roxas' room. "Strengthening your connection with the Keyblade Wielder? I suppose it's only natural for you to feel such a strong attraction towards him, but do not get carried away. We don't want anything unforeseen to happen to you."

She had the strongest urge to tell him to mind his own business, but she held her tongue and carried on with what she was doing. She didn't want Vexen getting any strange ideas for a new experiment that was bound to fail anyway. Before she could get far, Zexion sniffed the air.

"How peculiar. Cerise, why do I smell salt coming from you?"

Her muscles stiffened.

"Salt?" Vexen motioned for Zexion to be more specific.

"It must be the icecream I brought her," Axel said from behind her. This was the second time he caught her off guard today. He moved to stand in front of her.

"And who allowed you to bring Cerise gifts from other worlds?" Vexen countered.

"What? I need permission?"

"I don't recall the two of you ever being so friendly," Zexion said.

"Are you guys talking about that stupid icecream again?" Larxene piped in. She was wondering what was taking Cerise so long and had decided to see what the holdup was. After hearing a portion of the conversation, she knew how to play along. "Axel, don't bring that sugary crap back here again."

"Whatever you say." Axel rolled his eyes.

Vexen and Zexion still had their doubts, but they did not see the point in arguing with them. No one ever showed the senior members respect anymore. No one dared to defy Xemnas though, due to certain and very dreadful consequences. The only one who ever "joked" around with Xemnas was Xigbar. Once the senior members left the hallway completely, Larxene turned towards Axel and Cerise. She wagged her finger at them, knowingly.

"Tsk tsk tsk! What would you do without me?"

"We were better off without you intervening," Axel remarked.

"You stubborn little–" Larxene bit her tongue when she sensed another presence. Everyone looked up at the ceiling to see no one other than Xigbar, using his control over space to his advantage once again. Down below, all three of them were thinking: "how long had he been there?" If he had been there the whole time, Zexion neglected to mention it or perhaps he purposely did. Xigbar pushed off from the ceiling and landed before them with a cocky grin across his aged face. His eyes were on Cerise.

The three of them kept their cool.

"Need something?" Axel asked.

Xigbar scoffed. "As if. Just dropped by to check on fairy girl."

His eyes were still on her.

Larxene decided to return to her room, not caring anymore. So much for being a help.

"If that's all, we're gonna head off," Axel said.

"Before that," Xigbar began, "go check on Demyx. He was searching everywhere for you today, Cerise. Couldn't help the poor guy since no one knew where you were."

He emphasized the last six words. Axel and Cerise remained poised despite that.

"I guess you should go then." Axel nudged her.

She nodded and rushed past Xigbar, leaving Axel and him in a staring contest. Xigbar made it quite obvious that he knew about Cerise's little trip out of the castle. If he told Xemnas, the result wouldn't be too severe, but it was possible Xemnas would lock her away completely. Axel could care less if that happened. At least, he used to feel that way.

Xigbar finally blinked when he started chuckling. He placed a friendly hand on Axel's shoulder.

"Showing fairy girl a fun time? Heh, you're not the only one."

Axel shook his head, hands on his side. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Xigbar wrapped an arm around Axel to bring him closer. Axel narrowed his eyes as Xigbar whispered something into his ear. Once he was done, Xigbar released him. Axel looked off to the side, his eyebrows furrowed in intense thought. Seeing the redhead's expression caused Xigbar to laugh even louder. "I think you know what I'm talking about."


	5. Scandalous

**Author's Note: **This chapter is rather important because the things that are discussed here will come back in later chapters.

**Warning: **There is excessive sexual innuendo in here.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Scandalous**

"Another member?"

Cerise stared at Xemnas, interested. A new member would mean fourteen Nobodies in the Organization. She thought Roxas would be the last one to join. Would the Organization change their name with the new member? She decided it was best to keep such a silly question to herself.

"There will be a meeting today to welcome them. However, you are not to take part. Like Roxas, mind your distance with it."

"It?"

Xemnas smirked and approached her on the bed. Pushing her down onto her back, she shivered when her skin hit the cold sheets. "That is not something you should be concerned about." The mattress sunk a little when he began to crawl on top of her, casting his shadow as he hovered above her. "Concentrate only on Kingdom Hearts." For once, Cerise did not instantly answer him. Her eyes trailed away from his and landed on his hand that was next to her head. Noticing her hesitation, he jerked her chin so that she was facing him again.

"Do you understand?"

"...Yes..."

Satisfied, Xemnas removed himself from her and went to prepare for the meeting. She didn't understand why she was not allowed to associate with Number XIV. She'd have to ask Saix for more details. Leaving Xemnas' chamber, she hurried down the hall. Taking multiple stairs and turns to reach the Grey Area, a door suddenly opened and Roxas stepped out. A small gasp left her lips. It had been seven days since his inauguration. He looked over at her, expressionless. If she didn't know any better, she'd think he was sleep walking.

"I...I..." Cerise stumbled to say something. This was the first time she had ever stuttered. Usually, she would be able to say something right up front, but this sense of anxiety was new to her. Roxas took a step towards her, causing her to draw back. For a moment, he looked upset by her withdrawal. "The Grey Area! Y-You should go." She pointed down the hall. "Over there." With that, she fled, holding her flushed face in both hands. _What's wrong with me? This is most peculiar..._

At the Grey Area, Saix was in his usual spot while Axel was leaning against the wall nearby. Both of them looked over when they saw Cerise running in.

"Why are you running?" Saix queried.

She didn't seem to hear him. Axel exchanged glances with Saix. Out of nowhere, she ran up to Saix and yanked his arm down so he could not look at his clipboard.

"Saix! There's something wrong with me!"

Axel nearly choked on his saliva at her outburst. Wrinkles formed on Saix's forehead as he scrunched his eyebrows, scrutinizing her. "And what is the matter?" Before she could reply, Roxas entered the lounge. All three of them turned to look at him. "We can discuss this later." Saix brushed her off of him and proceeded to talk to Roxas. Cerise went over to Axel, pushing him from the wall so she could hide behind him. Axel chuckled as she struggled to make him move.

"Cerise," Saix said.

She stopped pushing Axel. "Yes?"

"We will talk later," he muttered before leaving for The Round Room.

After the meeting, Saix and her met up in his room. She explained to him the strange feeling in her chest. He called her a fool since Nobodies couldn't "feel". However, they came to conclusion that her encounter with Roxas may have triggered something in her body. As Vexen said before, it was natural for her to feel a sense of attraction to Roxas and it was probably likewise. They were like magnets.

"Be cautious around him," Saix reminded.

"I know. It's the same for Number XIV," she sighed. "Xemnas told me to stay away. Why is that?"

"When you meet her, you will know."

"Female? What's her name?"

"Xion. We found her at Castle Oblivion."

"Castle Oblivion? The same place as Namine? That's no mere coincidence, is it?" Cerise crossed her arm. "Then again, Roxas and I both came from Twilight Town." She paced back and forth across the room. "But why Twilight Town?" Of all the worlds Cerise could have been thrown into after becoming a Nobody, it had to be Twilight Town and in the clock tower no less. Was there something significant about that place or was it just trivial? She would have thought it'd be Radiant Garden.

* * *

Axel was in the library, chilling on the couch while reading a book. He wasn't really paying attention to the details or the plot at all. In fact, he was holding it upside down. What Xigbar told him yesterday kept bothering him. At first, he didn't believe it, but thinking about it now...it did make sense, considering that Cerise didn't wear anything under her rags and that she rarely slept in her own room.

He shut the book. Stretching out his body, his feet rested on the armrest while one arm dangled off the sofa. The door to the library opened and from the corner of his eye, he saw Cerise through the crack of two tower of books. She didn't seem to have noticed him and went behind a shelf. He heard the door open again and this time it was Xigbar. He walked over to the same bookshelf.

Axel pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"So, the Keyblade kid is finally awake," Xigbar drawled.

"Yeah," Cerise mumbled.

"Unresponsive as always."

"It's you who talks too much."

"Have fun with Demyx yesterday? He said you were like a dead fish."

It was silent.

_Demyx? Don't tell me..._Axel heard a bunch of consecutive thumps. There was a ruffling of clothes and a zipper. Axel remained motionless, staring ahead of him, but at nothing specific. _So what Xigbar said was the truth. _He hesitated on what to do. The more he hesitated, the louder and more frantic the actions behind the bookshelf grew. _Xigbar hadn't told Xemnas about her trip to Twilight Town so if I were to interfere, would Xigbar rat her out?_ He heard a rough groan, distracting Axel from his thoughts for the briefest of seconds. Unconsciously, his hands rolled into fists. Like hell he was going to let this continue. Axel quietly got up and went to the nearest bookshelf. Lifting his leg, he then kicked the bookshelf as hard as he could, knocking it over and creating a domino effect. He heard two surprised voices and quickly left through a portal.

"Xigbar and Cerise?" Saix muttered. He and Axel were having another secret meeting at night. Axel explained to him what Xigbar told him and he wanted Saix to confirm it. He did not mention the book room incident though. That was best left forgotten. "I thought you were already aware."

"So you knew?"

"Cerise is the apothecary of this Organization. Her abilities transcend medicine. Her body is a source of energy from Kingdom Hearts, which can be shared through intimacy."

"That..."

"Do you think you think it's wrong? Don't be foolish. Her purpose is to serve the Organization for whatever means."

"Does that mean you..."

"As long it allows everyone to perform their best on missions, I don't see any problem with it and neither does Xemnas," Saix coldly stated, descending down a flight of stairs. Mentioning their Superior's name left no room for protest on Axel's part. If he were, he'd be disobeying Xemnas. Looking back at Axel, Saix repeated something from before. "Don't get involved with her."

Axel cursed to himself. "Damn it."

The next day, he had a mission with Roxas. He could hardly sleep a wink last night. Fighting Heartless was an efficient solution of keeping his mind off things, such as his recent discovery, and despite Roxas' zombie-like state, hanging out with the kid wasn't as much as a drag he thought it would be.

"Come on, Roxas." Axel gestured the kid to follow him, but Roxas was busy staring at Number XIV, who had her hood up. This was the first time he had shown interest in anything. Axel hadn't been paying much attention during yesterday's meeting so he asked Saix for Number XIV's name.

"Xion," Roxas whispered.

Axel gave Roxas a little push forward. A burst of laughter stopped Axel in his tracks. Larxene was laughing about something with Cerise. His emerald eyes narrowed. _She really is the Organization's pet. _Cerise was not as innocent as Axel thought her to be. It was clear as to how Larxene and Cerise got along now. There was a bad taste in his mouth. He never asked, but Cerise appeared to be no older than eighteen while Xigbar appeared old enough to be her father. Axel sharply turned away when Cerise caught his gaze.

"Let's go, Roxas."

A few days passed and a selective group were preparing for Castle Oblivion. It had been twenty-one days since Roxas' arrival in the Organization and Cerise was still prohibited from interacting with him, including Number XIV. She wanted to ask Axel about Roxas, but they hardly saw each other since he always hung out with Roxas after missions.

Cerise was in her room after everyone left for their mission. She was examining a red mark on her cheek inflicted by Larxene. Larxene had told Cerise about her plan to overtake the Organization with Marluxia, asking her to join them. It's not that she didn't want to, but Cerise knew that they would fail. Saix had already told her he had been suspecting traitors among the fold and purposely assigned them to Castle Oblivion. She pleaded with Larxene to give up the plan, angering her in the process and as a result, Larxene slapped her. She even called her a play thing. What Larxene had said wasn't far from the truth though and Cerise acknowledged that. Cerise placed a hand against her aching cheek, closing her eyes. Even though she knew Larxene was using her all a long, she felt disheartened. Perhaps deep down, she was hoping Larxene thought of her as a friend.

All of this betrayal and hurt was foreseen from the beginning and yet Cerise was letting this get to her. What had happened to being apathetic towards everything? Ever since her visit to Twilight Town and Roxas' awakening, her mood towards things changed. It hurt when she was alone, it hurt when she was with Xemnas, it hurt when she was undergoing experiments, and it hurt when Larxene struck her. The pain wouldn't subside.

* * *

Roxas and Axel were at Twilight Town, enjoying the sunset together. Getting sea-salt icecream and meeting up at the clock tower had become a daily routine for the two. It became something to look forward to during the day. Roxas liked it best when his missions were with Axel. At first, he didn't have much of an opinion of who he was partnered up with, but now he was able to call Axel a friend. Everyone else were stiff. It was nearly impossible to ever have a casual chat with Xaldin or Lexaeus and it was impossible for Saix.

"I'm gonna miss this icecream thing we do," Axel said.

"Huh? Why?"

"Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be away. I'm gonna be at Castle Oblivion for a while. It's the Organization's second castle situated in the world between worlds."

"Oh...I wish people told me these things. What am I going do while you're gone?" Roxas asked, his head down.

"Everything you normally do. I'll be back before you know it."

"But, who will I have icecream with?"

"Well, there is Cerise," Axel murmured, scratching his head. He hadn't talked to her since the library incident.

"Who?"

"Cerise. She's not a member, but she works for the Organization."

"How come I've never seen her?"

"She used to come out a lot, but now she stays in her room. Why don't you try talking to her?" Axel suggested. Though Roxas had seen her before and many times in the Grey Area for that matter, Axel decided not to mention it. It may complicate things if he did. "When you see her, don't touch her. She doesn't like it when people do." Of course, this was just an excuse to cover up the real reason.

"Is that why she doesn't leave her room?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Where can I find her?"

"Leave that to me. Well, I better get going. Need to prepare, y'know." Getting onto his feet, Axel gazed out into the sunset. The scene was much more breathtaking up on the clock tower. He didn't know why, but he wanted Cerise to see it. It seemed she never went exploring again. She was probably paranoid that Xigbar would tell Xemnas. Honestly, what did they care? As long as she would return, Axel didn't see any problem with letting her out. Perhaps Xemnas was worried that she would runaway. Who could blame her if she did? The members themselves couldn't stand being pent up in the castle.

Funny.

He never thought this way about Namine even though her situation was the same as Cerise's.

* * *

"Hey," Axel greeted awkwardly as he stood at the threshold of Cerise's room. She was lying on her bed, concentrating on the ceiling and ignoring him...as expected. She knew he had been avoiding her. It made the atmosphere more tense. On his way in, he closed the door behind him with his foot. "You haven't been leaving your room lately." She didn't respond. He joined her on the bed, sitting on the edge so that his feet were on the floor. "This is for you." He waved the packaged icecream above her face. That's when he saw the hand print of her cheek. _Did Saix do that? Wonder what happened. _He placed the icecream on her cheek to serve as an icepack.

"..."

"Do you want to see the sunset again?"

Cerise finally looked at him.

He knew that would get her attention. "While I'm gone, Roxas will be all by himself. He goes to the clock tower after every mission. Meet him there," he said with a half smile. He removed the icecream from her face. "It'll be fun and you won't have to be locked up in the castle all day."

"You're talking to me again. Why?"

This came out of nowhere.

Axel scratched his cheek. It's not as though he could tell her the real reason. Deliberating on whether to tell her or not, he didn't see Cerise taking off her dress. When he finally turned to her, her dress was hauled over her head and thrown aside. "What are–" About to cover his eyes, he stopped himself when he saw bandages wrapped from her chest to all the way down to her mid-thigh. "What happened?"

"Xemnas got mad at me for sneaking out."

Axel hoped it wasn't because of what he did in the library.

"I was the one who told Xemnas." She watched Axel's expression change from curiosity to bewilderment.

"Why did you tell him?"

"So Xigbar wouldn't be able to blackmail me like the time in the library. You remember, don't you? You were there after all."

"You're not making sense. If you knew I was there then why–"

"Because Saix told me to, said if you witnessed it yourself, you would stop meddling," Cerise stated, never faltering once with her words.

Axel was speechless. Forget about Cerise being the Organization's or Xemnas' pet. She belonged to Saix. For as long as he knew Saix, he never would have surmised that his old friend would make someone do such a thing. More than that, how could Cerise obey such a lewd order or did she enjoy playing around with the other members? Suddenly, Axel snatched her wrists and pinned her against the headboard. He couldn't let this chance to slip through his fingers. "I asked you before what your relationship with Saix was. You said you didn't know, but that was a lie, wasn't it?" He looked into her eyes, searching for any signs that may give her away. She remained composed despite his prior assault. Unable to find anything, he released her. Getting off the bed, he reached for her discarded dress on the floor and gave it to her.

"Did Xemnas do that too?" Axel pointed to his cheek.

Cerise touched her own. He tossed a potion to her, figuring she probably hadn't healed herself because she didn't have any energy left.

"Don't thank me or anything. We have business to finish when I get back."

With that, he strolled out of her room.

She pressed her dress against her chest and smiled to herself. "We do, don't we."


	6. The Secret Clock That Ticks

**Chapter Five: The Secret Clock That Ticks**

Axel was sitting on the windowsill in his room. It was sleepless night for him yet again with all the business going down at Castle Oblivion and his conversation with Cerise. She really had this mysterious air around her. It tempted him to know more about her and to pry into her deepest secrets, especially if they involved Saix. Too bad he was to be deported to Castle Oblivion for who knows how long. Saix probably assigned him to this mission not only to do his dirty work, but to also keep him away from Cerise.

"Girls complicate life," he sighed, "but I guess they do have their quirks." As long as every girl wasn't like Larxene, he could bear with the opposite gender.

"Still not asleep?" Saix inquired.

Axel flinched. He hadn't heard the door open at all. "Try knocking next time."

"You understand what you need to do at Castle Oblivion?"

"Yes, sir. You've only reminded me five times," Axel muttered more to himself. Seeing Saix right now ticked him off. _He makes Cerise do even dirtier work than me. And how was I the last to find out? _Perhaps his image of Cerise blinded him from seeing how tainted she was. It was only instinctive to view her as this innocent lady. She was from Kingdom Hearts after all. _Guess everything changes when you don't have a heart. _

"What are you thinking?"

"Oh nothing," Axel drawled.

"Is it Cerise again?"

"Am I that transparent?"

"Didn't I tell you not to get involved with her?"

"As long as I don't get carried away, I'm good, aren't I?"

Saix scowled. When was there a time that Axel didn't get carried away with his meddling? Even when they lived in Radiant Garden together as children, Axel had the tendency to get them into trouble. He remembered Cerise telling him once that she didn't see him to be the type that would be friends with a person like Axel. Saix had certainly changed from the time he lost his heart.

"Why is it that Cerise listens to you so obediently? I mean, she probably doesn't care what happens to this Organization, but why you I wonder," Axel pondered aloud.

"We have an understanding. That is all."

"Understanding, huh?" Axel snorted. "Alright. I'll play along for a little longer."

* * *

There was a notice posted in the Grey Area. It was a list of all the members who were sent to Castle Oblivion. Roxas entered and scanned the room for Axel. He only saw Number XIV and Demyx. Saix came up from behind and when Roxas looked back, he saw a girl in a black dress. The girl caught his gaze and he quickly turned away. Saix began speaking to him about his mission, but all he could focus on was the girl. He continued to sneak glances her way.

"Roxas, cease idling and focus on your mission," Saix said, "or were you not listening?" When Roxas didn't answer, Saix explained to him his mission for the second time. He was to go to Twilight Town with Number XIV to eliminate a Heartless. Roxas looked at the masked member stationed close by. He had yet to see her face. Number XIV couldn't be the girl Axel was talking about since they were an actual member. Therefore, he was able to conclude that Cerise was the girl currently talking to Demyx.

Saix saw him looking at her. "She is not your priority as of now." He volunteered to open a corridor for him. "Now go."

Roxas tentatively nodded and motioned for Number XIV to follow. The portal vanished once they stepped in. Saix went over to Demyx and handed him an index card, detailing his mission with thorough steps. Demyx groaned in protest, but did as he was told. Better to perform recon than to get turned into a Dusk. He bid Cerise goodbye. It was only her and Saix now.

"Xemnas has allowed for you to interact with Number XIII and XIV."

"I see."

That wasn't the response he had been anticipating. He didn't mind the tepid reaction, but it wasn't like her. He noticed she had been acting a bit off these past days, not that he cared to do anything about it. More members came in and he went to relay their missions to them. Cerise sat on the floor, her legs stretched out in front of her. The area where Larxene slapped her was healed with the potion Axel gave her, but the pain lingered like an invisible burning scar.

Roxas completed his mission with Xion. She didn't say anything or take off her hood, making things awkward between them. Larxene had hinted to him that Xion could also use the Keyblade and yet she did not summon it once in battle. He had Xion RTC without him. Like Axel said, Roxas was going to continue with his daily routine despite his friend's absence. Going up the clock tower, he gagged on his icecream when he saw Cerise sitting on the ledge. She looked back at him when she heard him retreat. She was wearing the Organization's signature coat over her black dress. What stuck out the most were her naked feet.

"You're Cerise, right?"

She nodded.

He took a seat two feet away from her. "Axel told me about you. Are you guys friends?"

"...Maybe..."

Roxas didn't know how to interpret that. Gnawing at his icecream, he thought of something to say. There was a long pause between them. This was a big blow for him. He thought she would be more talkative than this since Axel had recommended that he should hang out with her. She was talking to Demyx back at the castle, so he figured she couldn't be that unsociable.

"Did Axel introduce sea-salt icecream to you?" she asked.

Hearing her voice suddenly made his ears tingle.

"Yeah. What about you?"

"Same here."

He laughed. "Axel's nice, don't you think? He showed me around in the beginning."

They talked about Axel for the remainder of the afternoon. It took a while for the atmosphere to ease over, but it did in the end. Roxas did most of the talking. Cerise just listened. She was still troubling over the incident with Larxene, but the warmth of the sun and Roxas' presence assured her a little. There was a radiance that surrounded him each time he smiled. It was a comforting warmth. Unfortunately, she could never fully experience that warmth.

They met up for icecream again the following day. Roxas told her about his mission with Number XIV, which led to a conversation about the mysterious member. They tried guessing how she looked like under her hood. Again, Cerise did not contribute much to the conversation and Roxas didn't mind at all. He believed she was experiencing the same thing he went through when he first joined. She would gradually open up. On his third mission with Number XIV, she took off her hood. She was a lot different than he pictured her to be. They got along right off the bat and her ability to use the Keyblade gave them more of an incentive to be friends. Roxas was ecstatic to introduce Xion to Cerise, but when they reached the clock tower, no one was there.

"Her name is Cerise? I see her around Saix a lot," Xion said as she had icecream with Roxas.

"Maybe they're friends," Roxas supposed.

They stared at each other with doubtful eyes. There was no way Saix could be friends with anyone in the Organization.

"She might be friends with Axel. How about it? We'll have icecream together. The four of us," Roxas exclaimed, brandishing his melting icecream around. He apologized when he splashed some on Xion.

Xion stifled a laugh. "Sure. What kind of person is she?"

"She doesn't talk a lot, but she listens so I guess that makes her considerate?" Roxas sighed. "I don't know how to describe her. We only hung out for two days, but I get this strange vibe from her."

"Same as Saix?"

"No. It's more...warm."

"Maybe she has fire powers?"

"That's Axel and even then I don't get that vibe from him." His shoulders slumped. He never really thought too much into matters like these. There were many things he didn't know and this ambiguous sensation only contributed to the confusion. Unfortunately, Axel wasn't here to explain these "feelings" to him. "I wonder when Axel will be back."

* * *

Cerise was hiding in Axel's room with a pair of bulky headphones on, listening to his music player. He had taught her how to use it, but she forgot. When she tried to turn it on, she accidentally broke it so now she was listening to nothing. The headphones served as decent ear plugs though. If anyone was looking for her, she was going to ignore them and many people wouldn't look for her in Axel's room. She wanted to spend time with Roxas, but she needed time alone in order to set things straight with herself.

Lightening struck outside.

It reminded her of Larxene.

Her right cheek stung suddenly.

She tightened the headphones on her ears and closed her eyes.

On Roxas' twenty-sixth day in the Organization, he fell into a deep slumber after a mission with Xigbar. It was a symptom he was experiencing due to Namine shuffling Sora's memories. If all went well at Castle Oblivion, Roxas would wake up in due time. When Cerise heard the news from Xemnas, she wasn't too worried. You could call it "faith". She believed Roxas would be just fine. However, she was concerned about the activities going on at Castle Oblivion. A member had been terminated and she couldn't help to think it was Larxene. When she had asked Saix which member it was, he told her it was none of her business. Then when she expressed her concern for Larxene, he mocked her compassion and scolded her for not focusing on more important things.

There were only two things she was permitted to think about: Kingdom Hearts and strengthening her connections with Roxas and Xion. Though she was allowed to interact with them, it wasn't enough for her. Before, she wished she could be with Roxas instead of the other members. Now, she wanted to do both. What was the problem with that?

When she went to visit Roxas the thirtieth day, she saw a bunch of seashells laid out next to him on his bed. She found out who was responsible for it when Xion came to visit him as well. It was their first meeting. They became acquainted and similar to before, Xion did most of the talking while Cerise listened. What Cerise found odd that day was Xion's appearance. She looked like a faceless doll. Even though Xion could speak, she had no mouth. Though she said she saw the ocean, she had no eyes.

Course, Cerise didn't bring this up.

They went to the clock tower together the next day. Xion treated her to icecream.

"I hope Roxas wakes up soon. He will, won't he?" Xion asked meekly.

"Have faith," Cerise said.

Xion's eyes widened slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that...you're very kind."

Cerise blushed. The last person to compliment her with those same exacts words was..."I'm not that nice. Don't– " Her words got caught in her throat. Xion no longer resembled a doll; instead, she looked identical to Ventus. _Why? Why does she look him? _

Xion tilted her head, confused as to why Cerise abruptly stopped talking.

"I heard you can use the Keyblade," Cerise said.

"Yeah, Xigbar says it's a special power, but I didn't know what he meant."

"It is a unique power that you've been gifted with. The same applies for Roxas."

"How many can use the Keyblade?"

"A rare number. It is a power that is born from within."

Xion smiled to herself, proud. She summoned her Keyblade and presented it to Cerise. Cerise drew back, holding her arms in front of her face as though she was defending herself. Xion immediately called away her weapon, apologizing profusely. Panting, Cerise clutched her chest. Sweat trickled down the side of her face. Her mind was growing hazy. Her connection with the Keyblade was no laughing matter. If that Keyblade had touched her or grazed a strand of her hair, she would no longer exist. It was a risk she always had to take if she wanted to spend time with Xion or Roxas. Never though, could she tell them. Catching her breath, she assured Xion that everything was fine.

"Shall we head back? We can have dinner together."

"Sure! What do you want to eat?" Xion asked.

"Icecream?"

"For dinner?"

They laughed.

Cerise's laughter did not sound as genuine as Xion's. Today gave her a heavy burden, especially when Xion went from looking like a doll to Ventus. She wondered how everyone else saw Xion. How did Roxas see her? _If she is a doll then why is she alive? Why can she use the Keyblade? _Cerise knew Xemnas was behind this and she did not like it one bit. As they headed for the stairs, Cerise came to a halt and her head snapped up to look at the darkening sky. A raindrop landed on her eyelid and cascaded down her cheek.

* * *

Larxene gripped her abdomen as she struggled to maintain her balance. She winced at the pain in her ribcage. Sora and his friends stood before her in triumph. Angering Sora was her undoing that led to her downfall. She glowered at Namine, who had begun to regain consciousness. _If that witch hadn't interfered...no, if that jerk hadn't betrayed us, this wouldn't have happened. _"No...no! I refuse to lose to a bunch of losers!" She gaped at her disintegrating hand. "I'm...fading away. No, this isn't the way...I refuse to allow–" Larxene hugged herself as though to prevent herself from fading. For some reason, Cerise crossed her mind before she disappeared into the darkness.

From Namine's room, Axel watched through a crystal ball. Sora had put on a good show for him even if it was at the expense of Larxene's life, though it was inevitable that she would meet such a fate. Traitors had to be eliminated and there was no going around it.

"Looks like I made the right choice in letting Namine go. Now it's Marluxia's turn."

He stepped on a blue crayon by mistake. Underneath the crayon was a sketch done by Namine. It was of Larxene and Cerise. It was too late for him to be feeling guilty about taking away Cerise's friend. What Cerise didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right? Axel recalled a conversation he had with Larxene and Marluxia after Vexen's death:

"It's time to join up," Larxene snickered, resting a hand on Axel's shoulder. "Taking over the Organization will be like child's play with the three of us."

"Cerise poses as a problem," Marluxia said. "There is little we know about her."

"She promised me she'd cooperate with us if we successfully capture Sora. It took her a while to come around, but in the end, she couldn't deny me," Larxene explained. "I even had to smack some sense into her. Trust me. She's more trouble than she's worth."

"A job well done then," Marluxia smirked.

_So that's how Cerise got that red mark. _Axel fought to keep his face expressionless. "Oh? So you were playing pretend?"

"Of course I was. What kind of person do you take me for? Did you actually think I'd waste my time with that whore if there wasn't anything in it for me?" Larxene scoffed, walking over to Namine. "It makes me sick to see her hanging around those old geezers. Don't you agree, Namine? That Cerise is just a toy? Like Sora?"

Namine kept her head low.

"Old geezers?" Axel wanted her to elaborate.

"Maybe not all of them. That moron Demyx and her hit it off..." Twirling a strand of hair, she stopped at a sudden realization. "Don't tell me you did her too." Larxene let out a cruel laugh. "Your face tells me no. Hey, once we take over the Organization, she can be all yours."

Axel snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a water droplet hit his eyelid. He nearly jumped when he realized he was standing in a puddle. _When did that get there? _He checked the ceiling for any leaks and found none. Staring at the puddle, he saw his distorted reflection. Maybe someone had spilled something earlier and he didn't know. Disregarding it, he went to find Marluxia. If he had looked long enough, he would have noticed Cerise's reflection in the water.

* * *

"That's some rain," Demyx whistled a depressing tune as sheets of water scrolled down the window. He waited for Luxord's input, but the gambler was too engrossed in his game of solitaire. A corridor opened and Xion and Cerise rushed out, drenched.

"Seems like Lady Luck and Mother Nature had no regards for you two," Luxord chuckled.

"You better mop that up or Saix will get mad," Demyx advised. It wasn't everyday he got the opportunity to give people advice. It was probably for the best if they listened too. Xion did not want Saix to scold her. Cerise didn't care very much and wrung her hair out. Xion was amazed at how much water Cerise's hair could soak up. Xion touched her short hair, feeling self-conscious.

Cerise noticed.

"Xaldin's hair can do the same thing," she said.

Xion giggled, but she quickly shut her mouth when Saix came in.

"You two are back late."

"We lost track of time," Cerise replied. She peeled off her leather coat, the one Larxene gave her.

"Clean up this mess before returning to your room. Same goes for you, Number XIV." His tone was more enforced when he spoke to Xion.

Cerise frowned when Xion flinched. It was evident that Xion feared Saix. He was cruel and demeaning more towards her than anyone else. He never treated Demyx that way even though Xion did more work than him, no offense to Number IX.

"Xion, why don't you go see Roxas? I'll take care of the mess," Cerise suggested.

"I can't do that."

"It won't take long."

"A-Alright..." Xion hurried off.

Cerise got a rag from the Moogle and started wiping the water. On her knees, she stretched forward to reach a puddle by the couch. Saix watched as her damp attire stuck to her body. The collar would dangle dangerously loose each time she leaned forward while the hem of her dress barely reached her mid-thigh when she bent over.

"To think such a disgrace is an essence of Kingdom Hearts."

Her hand stopped moving.

"It's not like I have a choice," she whispered in contempt. It was from Xemnas' and his orders that made her perform such crude tasks. She cried out when Saix pressed her head down with his foot, burying her face into the puddle on the floor. Demyx and Luxord stopped what they were doing. It was rare for Saix to lash out at her in front of others. He was irritated by Cerise's kindness towards Xion and the anger only increased when Cerise spoke back. She remained motionless as he applied more pressure with his foot. He looked down at her, daring her to say more.

"I think she learned her lesson," Demyx chirped up, his laid back demeanor gone.

Saix shot Number IX a glare. Demyx didn't take back what he said, but he did lower his eyes. Saix looked towards Luxord to see if he had anything to say. Number X did not say a word, looking at Saix straight in the eye in order to show him that he was not intimidated. Saix removed his foot and calmly exited the room. Demyx and Luxord got up simultaneously and followed in pursuit, neither of them casting Cerise another glance.

Slowly, she lifted herself from the floor.

"Cerise!"

Xion suddenly ran over.

"Are you okay? You were taking a while so I got worried," she exclaimed. While returning to the Grey Area, she passed by Saix. Demyx and Luxord were behind and all three of them had this staid look on them. None of them paid any attention to her. She sensed something was wrong and went to check on Cerise. "There's dirt on your cheek." She stretched a hand out to wipe it off, but Cerise shoved her palm out, telling her not to touch her. Crestfallen, Xion pulled back.

"I'm fine. Really," Cerise assured.

"Even if you say that...I'm still worried."

_Worried? _Cerise repeated this in her head. Was Xion feeling the same way Cerise had when she found out a member at Castle Oblivion had been terminated? She had only known Xion for a short amount of time and yet, Xion was worried about her? _No one has ever said that to me before. For some reason, it makes me...happy? _Cerise blinked. She had once asked Axel how one knew if they were a friend or not. Right now, her intuition was telling her that this was the answer she was searching for. When she looked at Xion this time, she had choppy black hair and blue eyes.

This was the real Number XIV.

Swallowing hard, Cerise blinked a couple of more times. "Xion, we're friends, right?"

Surprised at the abrupt question, Xion hesitated. That soon went away and was replaced with a big smile.

"Uh huh! You and Roxas!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **I hope that you readers are beginning to get a better understanding of the OC. If you can understand why this chapter is titled the way it is, then you are on the right track. Cerise and Saix's relationship is odd, isn't it? More will be explained in the next chapter when Axel returns.


	7. Temporary Reprieve

**Chapter Six: Temporary Reprieve **

Ever since Cerise and Xion confirmed their friendship, they were around each other constantly. Cerise even tagged along with Xion on her missions. They kept this from Saix and Cerise's absence from the castle was not suspicious since she was allowed to go out now. At Destiny Island, Xion bought her a pleated gray dress; it was quite the news when they returned to the castle. The members had mixed opinions about it. While some thought it suited her, others thought she did not deserve such "gifts" and it was not convenient for experiments even though there were none. As for the confrontation with Saix that time, Cerise kept that a secret from Xion. Luxord and Demyx seemed to have forgotten about it and acted as though it never happened.

Since Cerise spent most of her time with Xion, the other members had fewer chances to request for her "services." With the Moogle shop open, it was less mandatory to perform those tasks. It did not make much of a difference to Cerise though. She did not dislike doing those things nor did she enjoy it, however, she liked being with Xion more. They engaged in daily banter, never talking about anything of much importance. She was able to act herself around Xion. Together, they patiently waited for Roxas to wake up.

"Cerise."

Xion and Cerise stopped in the middle of the hall.

Xaldin blocked their path. He opened a corridor and nodded towards it.

Cerise got the message.

"Go wait in my room, Xion," she said.

"Okay." Xion glanced sheepishly at Xaldin before leaving. She hadn't been called to the Round Room ever since her introduction the first day. She did not particularly care for meetings and according to Cerise, they were boring, but she felt left like the outsider of the bunch.

At the Round Room, the rest of the members were already in their seats. Cerise sat in Roxas' chair so that she was across from Xemnas. She inwardly shuddered at the icy contact her rear made with the hard seat. The room was emptier with more than half of the members absent. Surely they would return to fill in this emptiness.

"We have received more information regarding those at Castle Oblivion," Xemnas announced. "More than one member has been terminated by the Hero."

Xigbar shook his head, snickering.

Saix did not show any reactions. Cerise knew he had intended everyone who was sent to be eliminated. A small part of her hoped Larxene had succeeded in capturing Sora, but realistically, Axel probably would not have allowed that if he wanted to get rid of the traitors. She inhaled sharply when she thought about Larxene. Was she done away by Sora or Axel? Either way, the result was the same.

All eyes were on her.

"Cerise, are you going to continue to ignore your Superior?" Saix muttered.

She flinched. "Ah...sorry."

"Word has it that you were in coup with those who turned out to be traitors," said Xemnas. "Care to testify?"

"I had no idea," Cerise whispered, folding her hands and looking away.

"Then explain your relationship with Number XII."

"We were friends."

Xigbar burst out laughing. Even Demyx tried to hold himself back. She could not necessarily blame them if they found her answer to be humorous. She had no heart so she could not have a genuine friendship with anyone. The fact that it was the Savage Nymph did not help either. Despite this, she did not find their reactions respectful. She swallowed the lump in her throat, slamming her hand onto the cold armrest.

"It's not funny!" she shouted.

The room fell silent. Everyone stared at her, some with slit eyes, as they challenged her. Her gaze faltered and she swallowed again. She reclined against the chair with her head hung low. She could still feel multiple pair of eyes scrutinizing her.

"You seem to be forgetting your purpose here," said Saix. "Forming these useless bonds does nothing for the Organization."

Cerise held her tongue. She wanted to say more, but that would be unwise with Xemnas present. As her hair fell over her eyes, she cast Saix a quick glance. He had that intolerable expression as always, silently rebuking her while demanding her to be quiet.

"Who amongst us were the turncoats?" Luxord queried.

"That is not yet certain."

Xemnas looked to Cerise before exiting. One by one everyone disappeared in a cloud of darkness. Cerise was the last to remain. She gripped the armrest as hard as she could, her veins tightening from the pressure. Biting down on her lip, pain etched across her face. They had mocked her friendship with Larxene. It did not matter whether it was a mutual relationship because she still saw Larxene as a precious friend; her first friend since she became a Nobody. Now her friend was no longer here and no one cared. She scolded herself for not having the courage to speak for herself.

When she returned to her room, Xion welcomed her. Once Xion saw her expression, she knew something bad had happened.

"Did you get yelled at?" Xion asked in a low voice.

"Sort of..." Cerise's eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

Xion handed her a bar of icecream. "Let's go see Roxas."

* * *

Roxas awakened on day fifty. By then, everyone had left for their missions and the first person to greet him after such a long rest was Saix. Roxas had no idea what happened to him and Saix did not mention anything either. He finished his mission as fast as he could in order to go to the clock tower. He thought he was going to be the only one there that day, but Xion came.

"You missed a lot while you were asleep." Xion told him about how she became acquainted with Cerise and that they often visited him. "You were right, Roxas. She has this warm vibe, but it's hard to explain…"

"Right? I just can't name it. How come she's not here today?"

Xion frowned. "Xigbar told me she had an appointment with him. I don't get it though. Does this mean we have to make appointments in order to see her?"

"Maybe we should ask her next time," Roxas suggested, "and then we can have icecream together."

Too bad for them, Cerise did not come to the clock tower for a week. They checked her room, but no one was inside. They asked Xigbar if something happened during their "appointment" and, not surprisingly, all he did was laugh. No one else told them anything; furthermore, it seemed like they were ignoring the question. Roxas and Xion did not even attempt to ask the every so disagreeable Saix. After another week, while they were playing a poker with Luxord, they saw Cerise trudge into the Grey Area. She had the most morbid expression they had ever seen; her complexion ghastly pale and dark circles imprinted under her eyes. She did not even spare them a glance and beckoned Demyx to come with her.

"How come she never lets us get close to her?" Roxas murmured, bending the cards in his hands. "Axel told me not to touch her, but how come everyone else can?"

Luxord took a pile of poker chips from Xion.

"You two are at the sprout of your youth," Luxord said.

"So we'll understand once we're older?" Xion asked.

"If fate does not alter its course, then perhaps one day you will."

_I don't really get it. When will I be old enough to understand? Is this something only adults know? _Roxas placed his cards onto the table. He leaned back in his seat and rested his forearm over his eyes. _I...want to become closer to her. Friends are supposed to be close, aren't they? I wish Axel was here to explain. He's been away for a long time now. _Too distracted to focus, Luxord won the game with little to no effort. While Xion and Roxas returned to their rooms, they passed Cerise's room.

"Should we check on her?" Xion suggested, going up to the door.

About to knock, someone slammed a hand on her shoulder. Swirling around, she saw Xigbar and behind him was Saix.

"Cerise is busy at the moment. Do not disturb her," said Saix dully.

Roxas stepped in front of Xion, knowing she was not too fond of Number VII, not that he was either.

Saix raised a skeptic brow at his protective notion. Now was an appropriate time to make them squirm. They had been annoying him as of late, especially with all the foolish ideas they were drilling into Cerise's head. "However, if you are that concerned for her then I will not hinder you from visiting her." He turned on his heels and walked off. Roxas and Xion exchanged bewildered look, having not expected Saix to have given consent. Why did they need his permission to see her anyway? Roxas signaled for Xion to knock.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Xigbar chimed in.

Xion's knuckles barely missed the door.

Xigbar led Roxas closer, making Xion step aside. He had Roxas press his ear to the door.

"What do you hear, tiger?" Xigbar smirked.

Roxas pulled away from the door.

"I don't hear anything."

Xigbar had a hard time believing that and leaned in to listen himself. He did not hear anything either. Not a sound. He knocked on the door twice. There was no response. He knocked again. It was the same eerie silence. Right when Xion was about to speak, Xigbar kicked the door open, then barged inside. Demyx lay on her bed, asleep.

There was no sign of Cerise.

"Where did she go?" Roxas asked aloud.

Xigbar went over to Demyx and tried shaking him awake, but to not prevail. "Can't you tell? Fairy girl fled her nest," he said, shaking his head.

"Fled? What makes you say that?" Roxas pressed.

"See for yourself. Demyx here isn't waking up. Fairy girl used her sleeping dust on him."

Xion and Roxas paled, coming to accept that Cerise did indeed leave the castle. What would become of her? A deserter was a traitor to the Organization and if found, she'd be dealt a severe punishment. Although it wasn't the time to be thinking about this, Roxas couldn't help but wonder why Demyx was in her room to begin with. From what he learned from Luxord about manners and chivalry, a male was not permitted to enter a female's room unless invited. _Does that mean Cerise invited Demyx? Is there something special about going into a girl's room? It's not like I go to Xion's room for a reason and if we want to hang out, we go to the clock tower. What do two people do in a bedroom anyway?_ Roxas sighed. There was so many things that confused him.

Xion tugged on his coat.

"Shouldn't we look for her?"

"Yeah. We should start now."

Xigbar called out to them before they got passed the doorway. "This needs to be reported to Xemnas and until he gives us the okay, you guys can't do a thing."

They were afraid he'd say that. Couldn't they just bring her back without anyone knowing Cerise was gone? Xigbar summoned a dark corridor and had Roxas go in. Xion was excluded and told to watch over Demyx. Needless to say, informing Xemnas about Cerise's actions was not a pleasant task or how Luxord would put it, "not his cup of tea." Everyone was called into The Round Room. Demyx arrived last after Xion had him consume a special remedy that awoke him. Giving his muscles a good stretch, Demyx received an earful from Saix.

"You should not have let your guard down," Saix said.

"I didn't think she'd leave. I mean, she's never done it before so..." Demyx scratched his scalp, peeved.

"What should we do about the traitor?" Xaldin inquired.

Roxas' head snapped up and the word "traitor."

Everyone waited for Xemnas' answer.

Their Superior had his eyes closed, thinking deeply. He could not dispose of Cerise if they wished to complete Kingdom Hearts. However, he could tighten her leash, but that would only make it difficult for her to strengthen her connections with the Keyblade wielders. Cerise was clever and decided to escape, knowing that even if she were caught, the consequences would not be dire. It was clear though, that Cerise had no intentions of fully cooperating with the Organization. That was unacceptable.

"Numbers II, III, and VII will search for her."

Roxas practically stood up on his seat in protest. "Why can't I look for her?"

"Number XIII, do you mean to disobey orders?" Saix snapped.

"No, but wouldn't it be faster if more people searched?"

"Your mission is to collect hearts."

There was no way around Xemnas' decision. His words were absolute. There were Heartless roaming outside and Cerise had no means of defending herself. _Why did she leave? _Roxas hadn't spoken to her since the time Axel left and now he may not get the chance to see her again. He felt a cool breeze blow into his ear, the sensation tracing the shell of his skin. He placed a hand over his ear and he calmed down. _Cerise? _He did not hear a voice, but the sensation was familiar. He settled into his seat; the tension eased over.

"You are dismissed."

After the meeting, Roxas told Xion everything. Both of them disagreed with Xemnas' orders. He must have had a reason for not assigning more members to look for Cerise. After all, Xemnas was no a dunce. He was aware that having only three members find her would not be efficient. The selective members did as they were told and searched every world from top to bottom. Three days went by with no progress. Everyone was beginning to think that Cerise was eaten by the Heartless. After their missions, Xion and Roxas would look for her at Twilight Town without the others' knowing. It was the only place they could think of. They asked a bunch of the townspeople, but no one had seen anyone that matched Cerise's description: turquoise hair and wearing a gray dress.

* * *

Axel traveled through the never-ending halls of Castle Oblivion. The Keyblade Hero had successfully saved Namine and destroyed Marluxia. Every member there had been terminated as he had originally intended. Saix wanted him to find that chamber hidden somewhere in the castle, but that was like finding a needle in a hay stack. There were too many rooms to keep track of in a castle with over twelve floors. His mission was accomplished and he could return home to Roxas. He had not expected to have been away for so long, but there was no helping it. His stomach craved for sea salt icecream and his eyes yearned to see the sunset once again. Traveling down the hall, he saw water seeping through under the door that led to another hallway. His curiosity made him go over. Grasping the golden handle, a water droplet hit his gloved hand. With great caution, he opened the door. The entire hallway floor was flooded and the ceiling was raining. He pulled his hood over his head. Taking a step forward, a chain of ripples formed, expanding down the hall. Up ahead, he saw a faint gray heap.

"Cerise?"

He ran over to see her on the floor, her body almost completely submerged in the water. He barely recognized her without her black dress and her hair, which was now white. Sitting her up against his arm, he peeled away the wet strands of hair covering her face. He patted her face. She stirred as her expression contorted with pain. She was not wearing her Organization coat, meaning she had used a dark corridor without it. "Can you hear me? Say something." _What is she doing here by herself? And what's with this rain? _The rain came down heavier and if it weren't for the leather material, the water would have felt like needles jabbing his skin. About to pick her up, she suddenly placed a hand on his arm.

"Axel?" she uttered below a whisper, her eyes still shut.

"What happened?"

"I...I'm scared."

_Women. What am I supposed to do? _Axel had not thought this was how his reunion with Cerise would turn out. He held her face between his hands, silently requesting for her to open her eyes. She did. In an instant, the rain ceased to fall. _What the...Could it be her doing? _In a daze, Cerise's eyes wandered from side to side as she tried to get a sense of what was going on. Axel moved her to another room and laid her down on the couch. He also brought her spare coat to replace her wet clothes. By then, Cerise was fully awake.

"So mind telling me what it is you're doing here?" Axel asked as he sat on the armrest.

"..."

"If you're not going to tell me then I'll let you answer to Xemnas."

"Namine. I came here to find Namine," Cerise said,

"What for? That girl's long gone now."

"I wanted my memories erased so I could forget about Isa."

Axel turned to her in disbelief.

"I thought that if I listened to Saix and got his heart back, he would remember me. That's why I did everything I could to make the Organization succeed. Yet, nothing seems to have changed and I've come to accept that nothing will." By "nothing" she meant Saix. "As long as I hold these memories of him, I won't be able to disobey him."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You were the one who wanted to talk."

This whole time, Cerise did have her own reason for serving in the Organization. It was for Saix. That clarified many things for Axel, but he wanted to know why she wanted Saix to remember. Did they have a past together? Also, the only way she could have known Isa was if she was at Radiant Garden and if she was, he could not recall ever seeing someone like her. "Even if you do forget, your purpose will remain the same though," Axel reminded. "You had your own reason to complete Kingdom Hearts, but by forgetting, you won't. Won't that be more painful for you? Or...do you plan on running away?" He had his doubts about her. He found it unlikely that she came to get her memories erased and then once that was done, she would nonchalantly return to the castle. There was something she wasn't saying.

"That..." Cerise lowered her eyes. "I can't say."

"Well, whatever your reason is, I'm not letting you out of my sight. Got it memorized?"

She gave a wry smile. "Yeah..."

Axel took her hair into his hands, stroking the ends. Her hair wasn't in the usual updo; it was freed from all restraints. Cerise didn't seem to mind the abrupt transformation her hair went through. When she had traveled between worlds without the proper armor, her body was nearly consumed by the darkness. Luckily, she was able to arrive here alive, but not unscathed. Darkness did multiple tolls on one's body, including appearance. Though he did not say it, Axel liked the color better on her. All of a sudden, flames sprouted from his palms and her hair caught fire. Axel used his available hand to keep her on her back as the flames began to eat away her hair. Once the flames burned off his desired length, Axel extinguished the flames. Germinating up, Cerise frantically combed her fingers through her hair that reached her mid-back.

"It looks better this way," Axel assured.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

* * *

"Hey, Roxas, man did you hear? No survivors! Everybody at Castle Oblivion got knocked out! Heavy stuff," Demyx exclaimed with extreme haste. It was breaking news that he could not make himself say without excitement. It was good news for Demyx. With Larxene gone, he could play his sitar without having to deal with her whining.

Roxas had the opposite reaction. "Then they're really gone." First Cerise and now Axel.

"Gone with the wind, right Xiggy? Whew, I really dodged a bullet there."

"Lucky you. Heh heh, now you get to double your hours to help pick up the slack," Xigbar chuckled.

Demyx looked mortified and freely expressed his disgust at the idea of work. "Roger that. Remind me to underachieve twice as hard from now." Number IX and Number II continued with their chitchat. Cerise was brought up in the conversation and they shared their opinions on what became of her. She had been missing for thirteen days. How ironic that it was Roxas' number and so far, it was an unlucky number.

"Hope she's okay. What was she thinking?" Demyx shook his head. He never would have fathomed that Cerise would do something so irrational. "She might be better off dead instead of coming back here."

"Oh, I wonder about that. Xemnas has plans for her, alright." Xigbar's attention drifted over to Roxas. "What's your take on the situation, sourpuss?"

Roxas ignored the nickname. There were more important things to worry about.

"I think...she's alive." _And Axel too..._He wasn't confident nor did he have evidence to prove it. All he had was hope.

"Optimistic, aren't you?" Saix cut in.

The little group dispersed and all three of them returned to their usual routine: Demyx played his sitar while the other productive two went to get their missions from Saix. Maybe "usual" was not an accurate term. Roxas could not act as though nothing had happened. Axel was gone. Wasn't anyone going to offer their condolences or express how much they would miss him or the rest of those who were annihilated? Would anyone listen if he wanted to talk about it?

Working through his mission, Roxas released all his frustration out on the Heartless. _Cerise and Axel are gone. No one cares about them and Saix won't let me look for her. _Without Axel and Cerise, the four of them could not have icecream at the clock tower. Both Roxas and Xion had been looking forward to that for a while now, but their hopes were smashed into pits of pieces. He struck a swarm of Heartless, sending them into oblivion. If Cerise had been eaten by the Heartless, he wanted to find it and kill it. He wondered about Axel. Who had killed Axel?

Once he completed his mission, he planned on returning straight home.

"Hey, Roxas!"

He'd recognized that voice from anywhere.

He turned around.

Axel stood behind him.

"How's it hanging?" The pyromaniac approached him. "What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."

It really was Number VIII.

"Axel? But...I thought you were gone! The whole team was annihilated."

"Correction: the weaklings were annihilated."

"You had me worried."

"Worried? Well, that's a neat trick, considering you haven't got a heart to feel with."

"Don't go saying such discouraging things," Cerise piped up as she stepped out from behind Axel.

Roxas stepped back. "Cerise?" He gaped at her hair and the gray dress she wore underneath her unzipped coat. Xion had told him about the dress she bought for Cerise, but she never said anything about getting Cerise a haircut. He did not know how all this came about, but he liked it. What was there not to like? His friends were safe and sound. A burst of happiness and relief surged through his body and he grinned. "Let's talk later. W-Wait here." He raced off to the store to get icecream to celebrate their return. At the clock tower, Axel sat between Cerise and Roxas. The whole time, Roxas looked at them, paying no heed to his melting icecream. He wanted to make sure that they were really sitting with him and they weren't an illusion. At one point, he poked Axel to make sure. He wanted to do the same for Cerise, but then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to touch her.

"Why did you leave? Everyone thinks you deserted the Organization," Roxas said.

"Nah, she didn't. She came to check up on me," Axel explained.

"Oh. That's why you guys were together."

Cerise looked off to the side. It was a perfect cover up story and one that she would tell Xemnas. Back at Castle Oblivion, Axel promised he would back her up if Xemnas questioned it. It would be a secret between them and only them. She nibbled on her icecream, distressed. She had not told Axel to whole story. There was another reason why she wanted her memories erased, but that would wait for another time.

"Now we can have icecream together. All four of us!" Roxas exclaimed.

Axel raised a brow.

"I started inviting Xion up here while you were gone."

"Xion? Really?" Axel did not know much about Xion, let alone her physical features. He had told Roxas to hang out with Cerise while he was gone, but not Xion.

"Me and her are friends now."

With that, the afternoon drifted away.

There was a racket back at the castle upon Cerise and Axel's return. While the two were busy, Roxas went to find Xion. She would definitely be overjoyed to hear that Cerise was back. She wasn't in her room though. Roxas thought maybe she was still on her mission even though it was rather late. He was much too ecstatic to trouble over it and went to join up with Axel. Axel had briefly notified Xemnas about what happened at Castle Oblivion and was told to submit a detailed report later. However, Xemnas was not quick to finish his matters with Cerise. Axel had no choice, but to leave them alone.

Hands folded behind his back, Xemnas circled around her. The clicking of his boots was the only sound in the room. Cerise kept her eyes on the floor as she fiddled with her fingers. It was not a gesture she normally made around him. She was nervous and he was aware of it. Xemnas yanked her forward by her hair and began to run his fingers through the soft strands.

"This color is certainly more appropriate for you." He clenched the strands in a fist and brought them to his lips. "Kingdom Hearts is nearly ready to reveal itself. Tell me then..." He tugged at her hair, the pressure forcing her down onto her knees. "What was running through that mind of yours when you decided to leave?"

She swallowed.

Opening her mouth, no words formed.

"This is new. Fear is evident in your eyes." He had been observing her progression after she was allowed to interact with Numbers XIII and XIV. Since then, she'd been showing more "emotions," such as the outburst last time when she defended Larxene. "It was wise of you to return on your own accord or else, I would have clipped your wings entirely." His hand moved from her hair to tracing her collar bone then he drifted lower, playing with the collar of her dress. "Number XIV gave this gift to you as a token of your friendship, correct? It would be inconsiderate to damage that precious bond."

"I only left so I could confirm whether or not Larxene was really gone," she finally said.

"In that case, you have seen with your own eyes what happens to those who turn their backs on the Organization."

"Yes, she deserved it, didn't she?" Cerise wanted to vomit at those words.

He released her.

She gave a curt bow and refrained from running out. Passing a hallway, someone popped up from the corner and latched onto her arm, pulling her back into their chest. She looked up and saw Saix scowling at her. Considering that she ran off without his knowing, she could sympathize with his rage or maybe, he was starting to realize that his control over her was wavering.

"We need to talk."


End file.
